兎の日記

Tycker synd om min mam. Det var meningen att sjukhussängen till henne komma idag, och när de kom, sa de att de inte kunde flytta hennes vilstolen även fast hon hade berättade för dem om det i telefon. :/ Så nu måste hon skjuta upp den... igen...

pintar → to paint

Ell a pintàt son ăman.
She has painted her lover.


cogher → to catch

Ai coghèt u maläi.
I have caught a cold.


scrivir → to write

Ele anu scrit u livră.
They have written a book.

Idag var en riktigt trevlig dag. Min mamma hade en tid på ögscentret i Haskell, och jag fick sushi (Haskell roll, kani girl, & ngt annat) medan jag väntade på henne. (När jag lade rollator:n i bilen kom och sprang ut kvinnan och gav mej min påse xD jag antar hon tänkte att jag skulle ha lämnat utan den.) Det visar sig att min mamma har "ripe cataracts", så hon kommer behöver ha cirurgi snart.

Efter ögsorten åkte vi till marknaden och fick nommies. Sen åkte vi till West Milford eftersom min mamma ville se om hens vän tog in den gnomstatyn hon gav ham. Efteråt tog vi en liten tur genom stan igen och åkte ner Weaver rd. Det hade varit en lång tid sedan min mamma har varit den och jag, jag har troligtvis varit ner den men minns inte. Nå, den var en kul väg. Vi kom genom Otter Hill rd och stoppade vid en park där jag spelade ett litet tag. Hade kul lol

Igår åkte min mamma och jag på en biltur igenom West Milford. Vi fick kaffe och munkar vid dunkie efteråt, och sen kom vi hem. Jag fick jobba på ett av mina konspråk, som inte har sett mycket utveckling under förra året.

Jag vill fortfarande lära mej lite ukrainska, även fast det känns lite svårt utan att veta mer ord. Jag ville skriva den första meningen jag skrev här, men det är för mycket. Jag antar jag måste vänta tills jag kommer bli mer bekant med språket.

Jag tänker att idag kommer jag jobba lite på språkmålgrejer och spela lite Pokémon.

Mi mama disculpa por estar enferma a menudo, pero por eso no le puedo dar culpa. Es vieja y propensa a no estar bien. Solo deseo que ella diría a su médico cuando no está bien y continúe buscando especialistas a pesar de que sea dificil. Incluso tiene números para llamar pero no llega a hacerlo y eventualmente se olvida. :/ Es frustrante porque yo solo quiero que ella se mejore.

It should be easier for mental health patients to receive refills on the account of medicine getting lost. I hope my mom won't have to go to the hospital; her doc is out of the country and she keeps getting referred to different numbers that don't go anywhere. She's bipolar depressive and the meds she need is her depression meds ):

Today my thoughts are all over the place as my unwell mind attempts to suck me into the same old fixations that once plagued me. I haven't been taking my meds consistently like I should be, because when I wake up... I just want to lay there and scroll thru my phone or have coffee. Big whoop, right - when all I have to do is crush it up and toss it in a chocolate milk. I should get back to doing that first thing.

I've been doing edibles every day in the evening for a week or maybe more, to cope with the boredom I feel. It sucks to be without friends again but it's better than being put down or hurt. I like taking the eds for the asmr, most of all, as it intensifies the sensations for me. (And doing a certain other activity... it heightens the feeling 83)

Just before I went and got some egg bagels fo rme and my mom. I'm on a bagel kick lately. They taste so good when they're fresh and doughy.

I've been going out on walks lately, which is helping me to stay active and fit. But it'd been raining over the past week, where I've mostly stayed inside except for tasks (or CURLY'S) and now my body feels all sluggish and slow. D: I guess maybe I'll go out again today and snap some shots or go to the park. I want to continue my activity.

There's a new shop opening in town that seems to deal with yoga, witchcraft, and antics? They're having a grand opening next week, so that should be interesting.

I got to say HBD to my Grandmother today, finally. 3 days after the fact! It's her 90th. She's sort of like a living relic xD but she's still looking good (: and in good health, considering the fact. (Not terribly health but not like she's on a machine or anything.)

I'm thinking about getting more edibles today. I'm running low lol

One day I'm going to write a book to my kid self, and to all other kids caught up in the same situation as I was. It would be called "You Are Loved".

Ugh. I keep feeling bothered when I remember an asinine facebook post some "autism mom" made. It was about her being worried about her autistic child's future vs. "hf" autistic people having opinions about the symbols representing us and how "we are not the same". Because obviously, an autistic person having an opinion you don't like MUST mean they have no struggles or challenges... how fucking idiotic and unfair is that? And most of the content, while she often posts about the daily challenges faced by her son, is often used to be pitted against lower support needs autistics and why we have no issues or aren't really, genuinely autistic. I mean, it's what you can expect from somebody who's clearly bitter about other people and maybe her son for having the life he does, but it's not like it's our fault. These "autism" parents act like we're the reason their children apparently don't receive help or that resources for more afflicted people get shut down, but when we have no social or institutional power I fail to see how that can be. There ARE things I can see like , but many of the criticisms we make have valid points and I think we have the right to express them, express how the medical world treats us and how it impacts us when we don't get our needs met. I mean, apparently, neurotypicals are the only ones who are allowed to advocate our interests or express ideas on how autism is perceived, so why the fuck can't we? And why would that expression diminish our struggles and pasts? It's cruel to say that. It's ableist and unfair.

Yesterday I finally got around to making some chili. We had bought ground beef a bunch of times before and I didn't feel like making it, so it went to waste. This time around, the beef'd been in the fridge for two days and I wasn't about to waste it or let myself go hungry. So, I made it.

It took??? 3 hours? And came out so fucking good. My mom and I just had some earlier and damn, it's good. I'm so proud of myself.

I'm also proud of myself for mostly remembering the steps. ADHD makes cooking hard for me between the execution and the memory. I only needed my mom for double-checking and a few things. Otherwise, I did all the work. And god... such work it was! My back was feeling it lol

Today is actually her birthday. I was going to treat her to Munchies', a bodega she loves, but we ended up just chilling at home and ate the chili. Normally, it snows or rains on her birthday, but today it was clear (minus the cold and the snow). Thought that was neat.

Unfortunately, I don't have any presents for her ;_; and I haven't gotten her a card. I forgot all about it.

My aunt called today and asked if we would like to come over tomorrow. My mom can't come because the stairs and getting around my aunt's house is too much for her. Christmas was hard. I guess we have to wait until her hip recovers more.

Today I mostly conlanged and hung out a little on the app I was talking about before. My mom is napping and I'm nibbling on a fudge pop. I feel better after my fuhei.

I'm half tempted to walk to the weed place in town to get some edibles. Mom noted I looked pretty happy yesterday. I'd been feeling low since things between me and my ex friend ended. I feel pretty alright today. I've been working to move on and not get sad. Sometimes I like how sadness feels, but I'm tired of it atm.