lapkaboo | Entries tagged with good

I like it that we have been going out a lot more lately. You'd think we wouldn't, since my mom's hip is in such bad shape (and seems to be worsening)... but she's been wanting to go out. We went to Starbucks again yesterday and to that Gencarelli's place as well. (The cheesecake there is so good.) If we go to the grocer, she takes us for a little ride, which makes me happy.

She says she does it to give my back a break. My back's been hurting carrying up all the groceries. Shopping with my aunt got cut short because of that. I guess those predicted back problems are finally coming up -.-;

I feel a lot happier/better lately. I still need to ask my doctor for a higher dose because it doens't go away completely.

You know, I look forward to having stuff to write about when I come home, but once I am home, it just feels like a chore xD but I guess I'll say I got a bunch of shirts (including hoodies). I only found one pair of pants which are super comfy. Hopefully I can find more if/when I do go back there. My mom and I want to make it to the walmart at some point, so I'm going to look at the pants there...

Hm, so after we went shopping for me, she and I went to catch something to eat at the BK in Oakland. The one in Preakness wasn't open. 0: I plopped a BK crown on my head and nommed away at my burger, while she had two baby ones. I also got a milkshake, but there they use these cardboard straws which are so weird to sip from. I know it's to cut down on plastic use, but still...

Afterwards, we went to the walmart actually to get a calender and a mug for my grandma. I got a lemonade when we were done and a normal straw for my milkshake which made a world of difference for taste. And she let me get cookies too 😭

So I had a very fun time.

Yesterday was my uncle's birthday, who I got a card for. We were actually gonna have a party for him but my aunt decided to call it off and moved to April (xD? kinda far away) because she has a procedure coming up and doesn't want to risk getting sick. Don't blame her.

So... today is just an inside the house kind of day. Mom's in a lot of pain...as usual...but it sounds like she wants to try going out again tomorrow. I love it, but I don't like it that it's contributing to her pain. I wish her appointment with the hip doctor would come sooner. It's like he didn't take her seriously, even though his assistants saw the severity of it.

I found that when I look forward to the day, my mental health improves. Obviously, when I'm doing something, it keeps my mind busy so the drifting doesn't begin. The medicine is a big help for that too (enough for me to say it's been life-changing, even life-saving) but it's evident boredom worsens it. Today I want to do some Japanese learning as I've been and then... I don't know. I could do some tidying up but I haven't felt like it.

I feel happy when someone calls me their friend (and I return the sentiment). Even though I'll feel we're friends on my end, I'm never sure people feel the same unless they say it.

(Though I am pretty confident the other people in the room feel the same xD)

I just got back from biking up to the quickchek for more chocolate syrup. I also got a pushpop and an ice cream cone on the way back '_' it's very humid out there.

I brought a 20 with me and it got spent on all of that. It's hard to imagine in some places, 20 is like, rich? Not rich but the prices of things are so low 20 could you get a lot more than just 3 bottles of syrup and a candy. One of my ht buddies said a hotel in Thailand only costed him $14 and omg, 14$?! That's amazing. Yet here a night a room is like 300? ´༎ຶ ͜ʖ ༎ຶ `

So in a little while I'll take more medicine... I'm taking it with chocolate milk, which is why I needed the syrup (...I also needed it in general since I looove chocolate milk).

I still need to call my grandma... she called earlier this morning but I didn't feel like talking ´༎ຶ ͜ʖ ༎ຶ `

My mom called just before and we talked ^-^

Idag ville jag komma besöka min mor vid rehabplatsen men jag känner mig verkligen trött från ataraxet. Jag vill också ringa min mormor men... senare.

Jag måste fråga en av mina mors vänner att ta mig dit men jag känner mig alltid weird om att fråga dem till något. Jag kind of önskar jag hade frågat henne till numret av en annan av hennes vänner, en kille som heter Luvey, eftersom det känns mindre weird med honom. Men jag minde bara att han har sitt jobb...

Jag bara ringade min mors vän och it turns out hon bara kom hemma så jag kan inte möjligt fråga henne att ta mig lol. Jag försökte ringa min mor men den dumma numret sa åt mig det är upptaget.

Jag har inte nämnat det här men jag tog en bit av 50mg atarax mixerat med nåt leftover 25mg vilket tystade mitt sinne och fick mig att känna mig fridfull. Jag drack denna morgon lite mer och sen igen bara förut. Det hjälper mig mycket. Kanske kommer jag va okej tills jag får flera pengar i mitt konto eller den första kommer. Enda nedsidan är det gör mig sömnig 😴 men jag ska ta det, det e bra.

I'm starting to drift again but I'm trying really hard not to and to bat it away. On a forum I saw someone say it was suggested to them to make the outcomes positive instead so... I'm trying to imagine someone now taking my side or being nice and empathetic and it actually is making me feel better. A little while ago I talked about imagining a character that would hold and soothe me after the occurences which was happening, so maybe I had the right idea.

( Read more... )

Can you believe I woke up before 9 and I'm only having coffee now? I procrastinated xD

Over the past few days, I've gotten a lot of work done on my characters, which makes me happy. I'm writing away at Haneul's profile and I'm getting more deets on Roark's parents. I hope soon to write about the parallels among her, Grisha, and Ryuichi, and then maybe later or another time I'll finally write about my version of doppelgangers which are in another story of mine. I really like the concept, but I've still not written anything down about it or solidified any of the characters I've got in mind.

So, I'm doing really good with not nibbling when I'm bored. All it took was a little willpower and it's like I kicked the habit! I'm so happy because I thought it would be, like, hard lol

I also notice I'm not in hell as much as I tend to be. I've noticed it beforehand, but I notice I really am making progress with being less anxious and not getting caught in mental traps or drifting. ( Read more... )

Since I got my money today, I can finally buy my aunt dingdong-flavored coffee. xD She has a keurig and they had one dingdong coffee left, which I tried and was soooo good. I wanted to get them more, but we got really broke at the end of the month... ( Read more... )

As it turns out, my aunt isn't angry, but I still feel that she had been 🤔 When we were there, I let her initiate contact first, and it turns out she was happy to see me. It was nice to see her too.

So obviously, we were at her house, got the rollator, and stayed just a little bit because they didn't have coffee I liked and they didn't really have stuff I like to eat or drink 😅 usually they'll buy milk and syrup and we'll bring over drinks when I come over, but we decided to leave last minute, and the whole purpose was to get the rollator, anyway.

So, I was hungry, so my mom and I left. Since we had enough money, we decided to go to the Wayne Hills diner and I got silver dollars again. They weren't as good but were still good, and I took them home this time to eat for later (in reality I was scared of being judged for not finishing them, which I was worried about last time too. But I also figured, I ate homemade pancakes cold, so why not diner ones? and guess what, they were still good xD). While waiting I was eyeing the dessert section on the menu, specifically the cheesecake and the milkshake 8D I was thinking about getting them but I feel like we were already driving the waitress crazy, so I'll just get those next time. I hope next time is next month ^.^

On the way back home, we took a drive to the carnival going on in Kinnelon to see what it looks like. Mom couldn't do the walk so I went checking it out. I was excited to see the Ferris Wheel and definitely wanted to ride it, and felt excited that there were a bunch of others, but... um... the condition of the rides was terrible. Rusted spots, banged up-looking, dirty, thin structures, even broken carrages on the Ferris Wheel. Holy shit. They had some cool looking rides like the Zipper, including ones I've never seen before, but I'm not going to go on those when they look like that. If they allow such damage to the outside, imagine what they look like on the inside? 😬😭 (The price they were charging for the wristbands was expensive too... 35$... who and why...)

So we left and finally went home.

Later in the day, I really wanted ham so I was gonna ride to Bloomingdull, but my mother gave me a ride instead. She was in her nightgown 😆 However, they were closed D: she said it was a good thing she drove me, instead of me riding all the way down there... (the ice cream parlor there was open, so I probably would've just gotten a cone for my troubles). Instead, we went up to the stop and shop and got a few things along with the ham.

When we were in the car, the guy who always brings the electric cart back for my mom came out and chatted with her/us for a bit. He's some young guy my mom kind of made friends with - it's cute. xD So we were talking about the Kinnelon and carnival and his opinion is about the same as mine. He said he was waiting on line with his kids for a half an hour because the ride broke down and they didn't even know what was wrong with it. :IIIIII He said, "Shouldn't you have some kind of technician if you don't know what's wrong...?" like god, YEAH. So they decided to never go back lol. And I also found out from him the wristband for the state fair may not be too pricy? :0 My mom was saying that if my cousin likes rides, maybe him and I could go there... it's not a bad idea...

Current Music: ASMR

Även fast idag inte har varit totalt perfekt, är idag första gången om månader jag inte har blivit upprörd eller känt mig anxiös under hela dagen. Jag hade en relatively god morgon, jag hade kul vid affären, och sedan har jag haft en chill tid hemma efteråt. Jag känner mig fortfarande okej även nu. :] Yayy

Mom and I are going to take a ride to the honey farm today... they have a bunch of products, and I'm not sure what I'll get... I was thinking soap, but maybe some honey if it's not too expensive? ^^; (it's nuts how expensive honey is) if I'm looking at someone's stuff, I want to at least get something.

Afterwards we're going to the shoprite which is right by...for...smuckers syrup which is super good. I like that it doesn't bother my teeth...

( some complain )

My mom actually talked about us going to see my grandma today but I don't feel like it. We left the detergent there and we even have some of their laundry lol OH and mom's roll-ator so we definitely have to go back, but it's also nice to just go and see her.

In ten or so minutes we're gonna get leaving. Honey farm here we come 🥳

(every time I say honey farm, I think funny farm...)

edit. So we went and it was pretty cool. They had all kinds of products. I got a small thingamaboob of honey and three sticks of flavored honey, those being cinnamon, clover, and root beer. The root beer was interesting... cinnamon as well, mostly just okay. I loved the clover one. I'm not sure if it's the same as the one in the bottle, but it tasted sweeter. I was surprised that the bottled one isn't that sweet--if anything, it's kind of tangy! But it's still good, so good I pour some on a spoon or my finger and eat it that way, haha. Next time, I want to try the honeycomb!!

Yesterday my mom and I went out to eat for the first time in three years. We went to the diner in Wayne where my grandparents liked to go or where the family would go out eating at on occasions. I had my old favorite dish of silver dollar pancakes which were to die for! I also had a pink lemonade and a hot chocolate which, while improved from last time, still wasn't as good as I remember. They didn't have old syrup where the other-flavored (blueberry, strawberry, something else) ones sat at the side, but they had it by smuckers which was pretty darn good. I put half&half in my cocoa to make it less hot and stole a piece of the egg my mom was having lol. I would've gotten dessert but I was pretty full by the fourth or fifth pancake. (My stomach must have shrunk since I couldn't eat much last month 😅)

Even though the prices have gone up, everything we got was only $30. Compared to how much other restaurant or takeout meals have become, and what we got, that's pretty good. At least in my opinion.

Even though we were still there, I was already thinking about what I was going to get next time we go there 😅 (I want to try a chocolate milkshake and the golden pancake... but I might get silverdollars again haha. (I CAN'T WAIT TO EAT KEBABS))

Then afterwards, we went to the store...again... and bought the necessaries, along with snow crab which was on sale B)) we were gonna get it again today but I got my period and mom felt tired so... we're gonna try tomorrow. It was so fucking good

Lately I'm addicted to saying "bestie". First it was "bro" but now it's "bestie".

Yesterday...or actually, the night before, I went for a bike ride because I wanted to drink something other than chocolate milk which was giving mne bubble feelings (I forgot we already had apple juice. it fucking blended into the bg). I still need to get a bigger saddel before I start riding around on it more, but yeah. I went around the time the sun was soon to set and could see the moon in the sky which, while faded looking, looked huge and was fully visible thanks to no clouds. At the QC, I got apple juice, an arizon tea, and a mocha iced coffee by international creamer that I thought looked tasty (spoiler: it wasn't) and left. I decided to take a detour through the back streets of Bloomingdale since I like riding back there. It was becoming blue hour and by the time I got to the crosswalk near the bridge, the sky was deep blue and the moon, almost pink orange, stood glowing in the sky. It felt as if it were watching me as I sped down the street, enjoying the cool breeze on my face. It felt nice, like I wasn't alone.

I was happy to be home because it got hot on the way back. Or at least I felt hot xD

Today, like I was last night around 9, I'm feeling pretty tired. That's obviously a good thing, since it's better for me, and I'd like to go to sleep earlier, but I also don't want to go to bed right now xD I've been waking up so it feels like the day ends quicker, so I end up wanting to stay up later... (I'll try to sleep at least soon)

Well, in a little while I'll probably go in my room and hop on HT. I've been checking it more lately... and even frequenting the voice rooms, which I'm so happy for. I've been talking and practicing a little with others, which is cool because people will be on mic but still talk to you who's using the chat. However, I've even been talking on mic and playing games with others! So far I've found two groups with people I really like chilling and talking with... and they're so nice, too. It's like... the other day I was thinking about how, only in small pockets of time I had friend groups, and thought it would probably never happen again. But look! I've found people! People I'm comfortable with! People who like me! People I'm becoming friends with! It's so nice. Even popping into different rooms, it's nice because it's human interaction. I'm just so grateful and happy.

Anyway. I think I should take some ibuprofen for this headache I'm getting and chill on the dairy. I think I'll definitely sleep soon.

I know I haven't updated about the positive things, but I've been having better days over the past week (or at least since the car ride) and good things are happening. I'm doing more and going out more and it's just been nice. (If anything, I'm posting those good things on twitter and HT. But I should update on here too.)

This is probably the best day I’ve had in seven months in regards to being + staying in a good mood, feeling normal, and not drifting. I was earlier this morning, and now I’m starting to be barraged, but I’m doing my best to stay well 😴

I have the new coffee I tried today to thank for my good state, which is Jim’s double chocolate organic coffee (bought with gift money B)). It’s not chocolatey like I was expecting but it’s still good and I’m looking forward to having more tomorrow. The caffeine’s what I’ve been missing… (it helps me)

I guess I’ll write about today later even though not much happened, and I’ll write about the other day too when mom took me out.

Current Music: Waves From The North - Chihei Hatekiyama

So today we went back to the Walmart even though we were going to do that Monday. Underwear returned, got diff size, and got two more shirts while I was at it. 8D

So I tried on a bra called a bralette that was white with a rainbow on it that looked soooo cute but it was raised towards the armpits which bothered me ._. probably because I'm so tall and most things aren't designed with tall women in mind. I even tried on a sundress today but it was sensory hell sooo ;_; I would've tried on more stuff but after all that (I tried on other things that were really cool but no luck) I felt disheartened and just wanted to leave. So... we'll probably

(On another plus side, there's a café there called Auntie Anne's which has the best lemonade in the world. One day I want to try the lemonade-blueberry mix and then I want to try the cookies from the subway next to it...they looked good and I read on a top tier 10 chainstore cookies that they were pretty good...)

Today I tried these vitamins I got that help enhance mood, energy, and memory and surprisingly, they perked me up! I was really tired this morning. Got up at 8 because I'd still like to wake up early and want to work at falling asleep around 9-10 (and eventually 8 then 7). I can't crush the atarax all the way so haven't been taking it, but hopefully in four more days that extraction site should be healed up by then. I'm able to eat more things now, but it's torturous waiting to eat tasty things again...

Mom came home with donuts earlier 🥳 Now it's around 5:45 and I'm drinking the remnants of the coffee I made earlier. It's half 10%, half 100% of the Hawaiian stuff and it's pretty good.

I'm thinking about going for a walk around 6. It's hot out today so the air is on, so I guess I'll get to wear my shorts and a tank top. I wish I had more clothes to pick out from 😭 we sttill have to do laundry...

Today I learned about a small country that exists within Italy called San Marino. It's pretty interesting... (write more later)

Eftersom jag var hungrig och tog ut korven för sennt, bestämmde jag att gå till Dunkin's och fo några donuts.

Jag ville ha en vanilla long john men de hade inte dem fortfarande D: Så jag fick två jordgubbsmunkar och en choklad för min mor och jag fick också en chokladmunk kallad en "double chocolate glaze" för oss båda att prova. Det var okej till mej; min mor gillade det mer. Nästa gången vill jag prova denna "morotkaka" muffin de hade; det såg ut ganska god.

På vägen tillbaka hörde jag tåget komma! Jag var nära tågstationen så jag sprang upp till ståplatsen att titta det komma huvudförst. Jag insåg det inte i början men det fanns konstruktionarbetarer runt och en som såg rätt på mig xD jag sa att jag ville se tåget och han endast log. :) Så tittade jag tåget gå. Konduktörn vinkade till mig och jag vinkade tillbaka 8D men medan the horns blew behövde jag täcka mina öron för det var för bullrigt. Det fanns också annan typ där - han stådde ovanpå tegelstenarna och tog video medan tåget passerade. Kanske var han en fotografer. :0

Surprisingly, slutade tåget inte långt borta och sen insåg jag annat tåg (huvud) åt sidan. Kanske kommer de att förändra det? (Huvuden såg ut väldigt nya, men kablarna var verkligen rostiga...)

Jag såg att det museet var öppnat idag, men jag visste inte vilket slut att gå in och ovanpå det kände jag mig blyg. En dag ska jag gå in där... (fast jag såg mig omkring av nyfikenhet lite)

Nå, efter alla det gjorde jag min väg tillbaka hemma och kände mig både het och kall på samma gången xD Jag hade min jacka halfway off medan jag gick upp till mina grannars stenväg och nå nu, har bara varit här hemma drickande kaffe och skrivande detta xD

Current Music: Rikāz rānda - Livonian Folk Song

Well. Today my aunt came over to let my mom use her phone to do a call with the GI. She's scheduled for a colonoscopy in May, which is good news because we'll finally be able to know what's wrong with her.

Afterwards, my aunt offered to buy me a new coffee pot since the one I got with my gift card turned out to be a piece of shit (which is weird since it's the one we used to have/buy). We went to the Walmart where I found the cutest Powerpuff Girls-themed summer sleepwear which surprisingly fit! (summer, haha, in April...) I also noticed a nice shirt for my mom, so I got that.

My aunt looked around for stuff for herself for a little while meanwhile, before we went to look at coffee makers. I was just going to buy another Mr. Coffee simple drip, but my aunt was like, let's look at the others. We were going to get the thing I originally was looking at online a few days ago but it looked like the box had been opened and we didn't want to get something that may have been returned. Then we met this guy who picked up a Mr. Coffee Programmable, boasting about how well it worked, so we ended up going with that.

Then I got an iced tea, my aunt got snacks for herself - she paid for everything and took me back home. 😎 My mom was really happy with the shirt I picked out for her.
(Oh, and I gave my aunt the blueberry truffle coffee I wasn't drinking to take home. She liked the other one, so)

I!!! am excited to have some good-tasting coffee tomorrow. In a maker that will HOPEFULLY last longer than two months. And!!! I am so appreciative for my aunt. She's the best.

I’ve been using dreamwidth a lot lately. It helps me be distracted from the thoughts, but I also have a lot of thoughts to write about. It helps to have a place to vent, and it’s also good just to write about the good. I try to focus on the good ones, even if I can’t all the time. If I can have good thoughts or feel good, I consider that a win ✌️

I’m going to try to stay fine for the rest of the night. I’m feeling pretty sleepy right now, but I’ll try to write about my day in a little while.

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Location: bed

Kan du tro att även sedan januari har jag tänkt på stranden? Jag tänker på det just nu.

Jag har blivit en sådan älskare av havet och strandet även fast jag inte har gått dit för år.

Jag har alltid tyckt om sommartiden också. Jag tycker om det nu especiellt, även om den tenderar att deprimera mig.

Jag undrar om min moster kommer en dag att fråga mig om jag vill komma til strandet med henne och hennes familj. Jag väntar det inte. Faktiskt gjorde vi det i förr, men då kom vi inte överens. Nu sedan är de familj banden bra, kanske skulle det vara bra.

Jag önskar att jag kunde komma eftersom jag älskar sjösidan och jag tror att det skulle vara roligt. Men det är inte min plats att lägga mig in i deras familjtid och skoj. På andra handen gillar jag inte långa skjutser xD

I'm a little too tired to go into a lot about yesterday but I'll try xD

So I was determined to come no matter what. After we came home from MV, I spent an hour packing my shit before I ubered my way to my aunt's. The driver was nice enough to put my suitcase in the back and make sure I was comfortable. He spoke in Spanish but we understood each other with thumbs ups xD Felt kind of guilty about not giving him some singles but I didn't have any.

So it was pretty chill during the day and it was nice since they put the dog in the back room xD Grandma was happy to see me but was kind of in an "eh" mood due to not feeling well. Everyone else was glad I was there and I was too 😭

Me, Aunt L, and Grandma were all sitting in the living room after we did the MV shit. I gave Will the card my mom got him and I gave him the Reese's cups. He was really happy!

So I had fun giving the trick or treaters their candy and made them say Trick or Treat if they didn't. Uncle B said I was really enforcing the rule 😭😭 And Aunt L said I was like him because she said the rule was 2 a piece but I was giving them more xD She was so funny, saying she'd bought the candy she didn't like lol

When it got darker out, we were going to go looking at houses but Uncle B had gone out for a look around; funny 'cause he said we could just tell him when to take over. At some point, I got into costume and Grandma took over for me. She and Aunt L thought I looked really cool. I went downstairs and my cousin W giggled and said I looked cool. I went back upstairs and gave some more candy to the ToTers but it was hard because I could not see them xD; A lot of cool costumes came to the doorstep, including a plague doctor, someone dressed as Aang, a Kakashi, and others.

Uncle B finally came back around where my aunt ushered him inside to take over. At first I was going to go in the mask but was really blind so I had to wear the mask on my head (and got my glasses as well because I can't really see without them either. The houses were pretty cool, though for some reason, I was underwhelmed. I really wanted to go walking around with my mask and thought I would look so cool but what can you do. xD;

We went up the hill to see the house of the lady who goes all out for Halloween. Her reasoning is, she's Jewish and doesn't really get to put up stuff, so this is her time to go all out! It was pretty cool. My aunt took pics and even took pics of me in costume in front of it. I didn't have Tabitha on me so no pics but that's OK.

On the way down, my feet were really hurting so I quick went and changed into my shoes when we passed by the house. The street after the one down the hill was really quiet and barely had anyone there. When we started walking up the hill, my feet and legs were killing me 😭 That mountain is really arduous. I love WO and my aunt's neighborhood but what a pain in the ass it would be walking up those hills...

When we came back, we sat on the porch steps with my Uncle and I sat listening as they talked about the neighbors. It started dripping and before long it was coming down. Most of the candy was given out, though. They were down to the last bag.

So we went in and well, I think because of being up for 24+ hours (and hungry) and being super stressed on top of that my mood got down and I just wanted to be alone. I went to bed right after I entered my Grandma's room. I would've stayed and hung out with everyone if not for that.

So, I woke up at 12:15 PM... I felt pretty refreshed/awake then, but got more tired when it became 2 and on the ride home I felt really, really tired and closed my eyes. Grandma came with us because she had an appointment in Kinnelon and b/c of that we got to go down some nice, scenic routes and even ended up by the alpaca farm.

I hugged Grandma and helped with the door when she went in. Afterwards, Aunt L and I went to get gas at the Wawa and even went in. It's pretty cool in there. I was surprised at low priced their brand of drinks are. She bought me a small milk, lemonade, apple juice, and push pop before we left and went down the road Mary used to live on to go home. Before that, we accidentally ended up in an apartment's parkway that were minimal and nice and I liked when Aunt L said she could see me living there and going on walks around the area. Not a bad idea and kind of has my interest piqued now. 8D

Well, she finally dropped me off home and we cheerily bid our goodbyes. I rang our doorbell as a goof and went upstairs to find my mom opening the door. xD Got to hear some good news at that.

All in all, it was fun. I had a nice time.

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lapkaboo

May 2025

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Page Summary

Update
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Chocolate syrup...
Rehab, visit, and atarax 👍
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OC stuff, multi-progress, and dingdong coffee.
Rollator, Aunt & Grandma, Diner, Carnival, and Ham.
A good day!
Honey farm.
Out to eat, bike ride, and new friend groups.
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More Shopping, Returns, and Good Vitamins
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Dunkin's and a train today!
Mr. Coffee, Powerpuffgirl PJs, and my awesome aunt.
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Summertime desires.
Halloween!

Style Credit

Base style: Abstractia by chiming
Theme: Dark Carnival by chiming

Page generated Jun. 27th, 2025 04:16 am