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Well, I feel majorly bummed now. A phone call we got turned out to be from food stamps and...it's bad enough it went from $800 to $95 (because of covid being over 🙄), but now they're saying our new amount is $57, even though my mom sent in an appeal with proof of the rent going up ._. I gave her the number and she said she's gonna call tomorrow, so idk.

I was having a pretty good day up until I called. Why did I call again? I have no idea lol I feel like I'm having brain fog myself. I also feel really tired and don't have any coffee Dx I wish I liked it from the store or a shop but it's not sweet/milky enough for me. I also REALLY don't have any much more money - I used two 20s from my savings for something on food already ._. I only have like $14 in my card...

(no subject)

Min mor ringade en av sina andra vänner att se om hon kunde ge mig en biltur men hon inte svarade. Så om hon inte svara vid dagens slut vill hon fråga den där andra vän jag pratat om. Min mor är lite arg på henne eftersom vännen gillar att verka hjälpsam men sen när hon frågar henne till saker finns det alltid nån typ av problem, och mig, jag gillar inte tränga mig på människor lol men jag hoppas också en kommer att bjuda att ta mig till mataffären eftersom jag verkligen inte har nåt här att äta <.< jag ska använda min mormors kort att få en annan pizza fast

Jag känner mig lite ledsen nu. ( Read more... )

(no subject)

Jag menar inte att förlora tid med att skriva på såna saker... jag vill försöka fortsätta att ha en bra dag.

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I could have SWORN I placed my order like an hour ago and i come to the computer and apparently I never placed it? but I remember it saying it was placed on its way. I keep trying to input my grandmas card number but it won't fucking go through for some reasion even thoiugh all the numbers are right. it's telling me the security keeps denytingh it. even though it worked yesterday. I'm so fucking hungry and I don't hacve any money on my cards or my miomn's card i;'m so hungry and upset i'm crying I'm literally crying

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OK It finally went through but I'm so frustrated because I remember it saying it was placed before which is why I went in my room to wait for it. I imputted the right zip code so I don't know why it wouldn't go through just before. I know I'm having a lot of brain fog today but it's like I keep saying.... I've literally just been waiting all this time for nothing apparently

and I'm so annoyed at my mom's stupid friend who offers herself and then suddenly can;'t do anything or doesn't get back to you. I'm honestly okay without seeing my mother because I've gone longer without seeing her, it doesn't bother me but there's stuff she wants me to bring to her and the cards she was gonna give to me. though I guess I don't NEED them now since there's fucking nothing on either of them. I'm so frustrated by how much everything costs money now, and now I barely have anything for my name change money.

oh my god I wqas about to throw a fit. The other day I used this site calledds slice to deliver the pizza and EVEN THOUGH I CHECKED OFF HALF PEPPERONI THE STUPID FUCKING SITE DELETED MY OPTION. nothing could be done about it I was so pissed off and upset. I thought fo ra moment the site glitched again and there was no pepperoni. There IS, I just hope there's no more funny business where it gives me whole instead of half. like, if your website is to order food on it, it should at least get the order right.

I'm in such a shitty mood since I realized we might be getting only 57 FUCKING DOLLARS IN FOOD STAMPS those shitty fucking assholes. I think disabled people should be able to receive an actual income, not just as little as possible to get through the month.

I feel dizzy I feel like my brain isn't working right at all. it's probably from not being able to eat anything that's healthy (no way to get the store, can't cook anything beyond 2 steps thanks to my adhd) and all tyhe atarax I've been taking. I actually haven't taken any rtoday but man ui;'m pissed off becausr the milk is already half way done and I don't remember having so much wtf!!!!@! I'm gonna need to get more already.

I kind of hope my aunt offers to come take me to the store or to see mom. I also don't like imposing on her, buit if she says it i'm gonna say yes.

(no subject)

I feel like I'm gonna get my period soon. I'm getting that crampy feeling and for the first time ever I broke down over something so small lol.

I honestly hate that my mom's been using my pads 'cause like.... I need those. And then I don't have any more and we need to get more and spend more money. I tell her to get the bigger kind in her brand but she says there's wings and like... so that means my supply has to get lower and that's just not fair. She should just get a bigger size or try a different brand. I always have to give my shit to her - it's not fair.

I feel light headed...

Period track

I was right. I did end up getting my period, which explains why I started crying (apart from the stress and not eating...)

Well, my pizza came and I watched a new anime that's pretty good while I ate, and then I chatted a bit with my friends.

Now I'm just sitting here without really anything to do, but not tired enough to go to sleep. I'm started to drift a bit so I'm finally taking more of the atarax.

....I meant to take the plates off the stovetops earlier, and I meant to do it yesterday too but like, the moment I have the thought or I go over there I forget 💀

I told my aunt about the drama with my mom's friend (not repeating here unless I already wrote about it. I literally don't remember) she said she's gonna call me tomorrow after work. Or at work? Whichever I guess.

....I keep moving the phones and I don't know where one of them is. At first I couldn't find both of them but I think one is on my bed but the other...who knows.

I'm drifting more now. Maybe I'll go back in the chat.