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Can’t stay happy
It’s no wonder I have so much trouble staying in a good way when my mother makes me feel so bad. I’m anxious being around her and stressed out just listening to her, because I always feel like I gotta listen to make sure she doesn’t choke or didn’t end up dying. Every noise she makes that doesn’t sound like a good noise scares me and I can’t say the “wrong” things or it leads to jabs, guilt trips, yelling, or passive aggression. I really, really hate living with her and I feel so unhappy and caged in since she came home. I hate being around her.
When she was still at the rehab place, when she called me, she mentioned that the doctors suggested living in a one floor home. My mom talked about maybe having an arrangement with the landlord since they’re kind of tight? So potentially we could just stay living under his flats but man, I don’t wanna move - I don’t even wanna move because I love my room and I love the lack of noise from others( for the most part) and most of all I really don’t want to live with her. If she wants to look for that, ok but I don’t want to go with her. I’ve always had a feeling that if one of us were to move from this place then we would both have to move because of the section 8 housing. That’s part of several factors why I haven’t been able to move myself. Because it’s selfish, right? And it’s a hassle.
Sometimes I wish I could live with my aunt. I actually don’t want that because she has animals and I don’t wanna live with animal germs on me or my stuff or my room but it’d be better compared to here 😞 What I really want, and even consider my dream, is my own place.
When she was still at the rehab place, when she called me, she mentioned that the doctors suggested living in a one floor home. My mom talked about maybe having an arrangement with the landlord since they’re kind of tight? So potentially we could just stay living under his flats but man, I don’t wanna move - I don’t even wanna move because I love my room and I love the lack of noise from others( for the most part) and most of all I really don’t want to live with her. If she wants to look for that, ok but I don’t want to go with her. I’ve always had a feeling that if one of us were to move from this place then we would both have to move because of the section 8 housing. That’s part of several factors why I haven’t been able to move myself. Because it’s selfish, right? And it’s a hassle.
Sometimes I wish I could live with my aunt. I actually don’t want that because she has animals and I don’t wanna live with animal germs on me or my stuff or my room but it’d be better compared to here 😞 What I really want, and even consider my dream, is my own place.