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Attachment, love, & relationships.
It's hard to stop loving someone you've had an attachment to your whole life. I feel like I shift a little, because on one hand, she's my mother. It's natural to crave a bond and deeper connection. On the other, it's easier to try putting forth positive feelings towards her, especially when we live together. However, that might as well be a fool's move--because it's good for a while and then it's not. You believe it's as it could be, then you get fooled. You get hurt. Over and over. I recognize I'll never be able to have with her what I had craved. I like being apart because I can distance myself from her. However, she still remains in her own special category. At least until I no longer have to see her.
A lot of times, in my daydreams, a character is more like my parent. Sometimes they're like both a partner and a parent. I suppose that's a little creepy. I don't think I've ever want a full fledged cgl relationship irl, at least, I'd just like it if someone can be what I need at times, as long as I can be there for them too. I hope my love would be enough. Because of how I am... audd, traumatized, and at times a child on the inside... I worry it won't be enough, or it won't be even.
I hope there are people for me out there, like I might be for others. I hope we match.
A lot of times, in my daydreams, a character is more like my parent. Sometimes they're like both a partner and a parent. I suppose that's a little creepy. I don't think I've ever want a full fledged cgl relationship irl, at least, I'd just like it if someone can be what I need at times, as long as I can be there for them too. I hope my love would be enough. Because of how I am... audd, traumatized, and at times a child on the inside... I worry it won't be enough, or it won't be even.
I hope there are people for me out there, like I might be for others. I hope we match.