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I tell you... As much as I like BL (same sex couplings in general, though due to the humanization/aesths male characters are often given over fem ones, I tend to prefer consuming BL content), sometimes it makes me sad. Because I despair at the gaping lack of WL there is, especially of that I desire. I wish I could find it, like I wish I could meet and find other women like me and women of the type I'm attracted to. There's just nothing.
Before I understood that my lack of attraction towards men stemmed from my homosexuality, I always thought the ability to get aroused just hadn't kicked in yet for me, so back then, I was waiting for the day it finally would. When I realized why I never could, or would be able to, I was disappointed and sad, left with a feeling like I was missing out (when you see other women chatting away about their oppsex crushes or types, giggling about their favorite nsfw fanworks) and could never have true intimacy with a guy (back before I understood relationships involved attraction, that Friendships could run just as deep).
...so even though I happily enjoy the quality, the style, the characterization and overall sense of the piece, I feel sad that I can't enjoy it like they do, can't engage or talk to them about it like they can with each other.
Coming to terms with my womanhood was the best thing to happen to me... and making female characters (that reflect women like me, women I desire), as well as crafting female versions of my favorite characters is probably one of the best things I've ever done for myself. It's like my own little space, my own world. It helps me humanize and relate to them. It allows me to experience attraction to the characters and so enjoy them in ways I can't otherwise. Hell knows how much fun I have with it.
I write about this because I'm noticing I'm getting sad again and I don't want to. Maybe I can look for others who share similar sentiments. I think there are probably a lot, just not expressed the same way.
Before I understood that my lack of attraction towards men stemmed from my homosexuality, I always thought the ability to get aroused just hadn't kicked in yet for me, so back then, I was waiting for the day it finally would. When I realized why I never could, or would be able to, I was disappointed and sad, left with a feeling like I was missing out (when you see other women chatting away about their oppsex crushes or types, giggling about their favorite nsfw fanworks) and could never have true intimacy with a guy (back before I understood relationships involved attraction, that Friendships could run just as deep).
...so even though I happily enjoy the quality, the style, the characterization and overall sense of the piece, I feel sad that I can't enjoy it like they do, can't engage or talk to them about it like they can with each other.
Coming to terms with my womanhood was the best thing to happen to me... and making female characters (that reflect women like me, women I desire), as well as crafting female versions of my favorite characters is probably one of the best things I've ever done for myself. It's like my own little space, my own world. It helps me humanize and relate to them. It allows me to experience attraction to the characters and so enjoy them in ways I can't otherwise. Hell knows how much fun I have with it.
I write about this because I'm noticing I'm getting sad again and I don't want to. Maybe I can look for others who share similar sentiments. I think there are probably a lot, just not expressed the same way.
