![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
(no subject)
Jag önskar att jag kunde bara svimma... jag önskar att det fanns en medicin som kunde göra mig känna bättre. Jag önskar nästan att jag kunde förlora mina känslor igen.
De drifting episoderna har redan börjat och denna tid the cuts feel fresh and new again. I keep feeling like crying, I keep seeing it over and over again and hearing the arguers over and over again in my mind. I can't get unstuck on it, all over again (but now on new stuff).
Just now I cried hard and my mom comforted me. But she went back to sleep and I'm scared I'll end up crying again. I wanted to before, but stopped myself. However, I don't think I can stop it happening again.
I feel so sad and alone and unsupported. My mother is busy sleeping (as most do this hour), I have no friends, and I feel like I bother my aunt with enough things so I feel too bad to approach her. I feel like she never answered my last message because she thought I was looking for a favor, when in reality I wanted to ask if she wanted to see the movie with me.
My mother before though said "I wish it didn't bother you" like yeah me too. Even the comfort she tries to provide doesn't really...feel like support. But something is better than nothing, right?
(This something doesn't hit it, because I still need comfort and I don't have/get it.)
God, I feel like crying again... my throat hurts... my eyes are welling up... I feel so thirsty. I hate feeling like nobody cares about me and everybody just wants to punish me and blame me when I try to open up about being hurt, and when I try not to worry that will happen when I do, people do exactly that. I don't know what makes them be so cruel.
De drifting episoderna har redan börjat och denna tid the cuts feel fresh and new again. I keep feeling like crying, I keep seeing it over and over again and hearing the arguers over and over again in my mind. I can't get unstuck on it, all over again (but now on new stuff).
Just now I cried hard and my mom comforted me. But she went back to sleep and I'm scared I'll end up crying again. I wanted to before, but stopped myself. However, I don't think I can stop it happening again.
I feel so sad and alone and unsupported. My mother is busy sleeping (as most do this hour), I have no friends, and I feel like I bother my aunt with enough things so I feel too bad to approach her. I feel like she never answered my last message because she thought I was looking for a favor, when in reality I wanted to ask if she wanted to see the movie with me.
My mother before though said "I wish it didn't bother you" like yeah me too. Even the comfort she tries to provide doesn't really...feel like support. But something is better than nothing, right?
(This something doesn't hit it, because I still need comfort and I don't have/get it.)
God, I feel like crying again... my throat hurts... my eyes are welling up... I feel so thirsty. I hate feeling like nobody cares about me and everybody just wants to punish me and blame me when I try to open up about being hurt, and when I try not to worry that will happen when I do, people do exactly that. I don't know what makes them be so cruel.